Have you ever been in a toxic relationship?
I wish I could say it’s been decades since my last … but I can’t.
Toxicity in relationships seems to happen to everybody at some point.
Despite encountering the signs and symptoms of dysfunction numerous times, it’s normal to occasionally find yourself smack-dab in the middle of another one. In fact, it can be a cue from the Universe that it’s time for change.
Curious if one of your current relationships is toxic?
Here are five signs.
1. You feel overpowered. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but the balance of power feels … WAY off balance. In a toxic relationship, one person usually calls the shots. The relationship may also feel more like parent/child tyranny than a relationship of equals.
2. You feel EXHAUSTED. One of the most straight-forward, simple ways to scan your life for toxicity is to check your energy levels. Do you feel drained after spending time with this person? Do you feel exhausted and like you’ve been on an emotional roller coaster? While everyone has bad days, it isn’t normal to feel drained the majority or the time. Healthy, positive relationships leave you feeling supported and uplifted.
3. Your opinions, thoughts and beliefs don’t matter. Another tell-tale sign relationship is toxic? The other person simply doesn’t care about you. They rarely ask your opinion, and they take more than they give. The exception? When they need something from you. In that case, there’s no lack of charm. Once they succeed at getting what they want, though, they’re back to their old ways.
4. They abandon you and you feel lost – yet once they leave, your energy surges and your confidence soars. I was in a relationship like this about 15 years ago. I was so emotionally dependent on this person I didn’t think I could function on my own – despite being a bright girl with a good head on her shoulders. Whenever this person “left” – whether through alcohol, staying out late or traveling – I felt broken and empty. Yet once I accepted the absence and got my bearings, I felt amazingly at peace. After a few days, I even felt confident and happy. And then I started dreading his return.
5. You “walk on eggshells”. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is completely unpredictable? One minute they’re fine, and the next they’re criticizing you for leaving a pencil out? In toxic relationships, you never know what you’re going to get: Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.
Would you like to know why certain people – especially highly-intelligent, thoughtful ones – are prone to toxic relationships and how they can break free? Check out my blog post: 3 Reasons Smart People Stay In Bad Relationships.
Until then, have an easy, effortless and non-toxic day!