Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts?
- Maybe you’re on the freeway, and, although you don’t normally mind driving on the freeway, a car swerves toward you and scares you enough that you start to question yourself and the other cars around you.
- Or, maybe you want to turn over a new leaf in your life because things have felt stagnant and heavy for a while. But, every time you attempt to try something new or dig yourself out of the hole you’re in, a little voice inside says things like, “Save yourself the embarrassment; you can’t do this,” or, “That will never work”, or “You’re kidding yourself”.
Can you relate?
I used to spend A TON of time thinking negatively. It was almost like I would wake up and, for whatever reason, my mind would start spinning worst-case scenarios for the day:
- Dentist appointment at 11 am? By 9, I’d already diagnosed myself with 4 cavities.
- Meeting at 2? By noon, I was convinced it would start and end late and put a damper on my day.
- An article of mine was being published this evening? People would hate it, I was sure. Either that or they wouldn’t even notice it.
Writing this now, it really is no wonder I isolated myself and felt insecure, anxious, and unworthy during this period of my life.
Luckily, I recognized how detrimental negative thinking had become for me physically, mentally and socially, and I set out to transform my thinking.
Granted, it took a lot of time, effort, and learning, but it was definitely worth it.
Are you here today because you, too, are ready to transform your negative thoughts? If so, you’re in luck!
Here are 3 of my favorite tools for doing just that – plus some crystal sidekicks to support you further:
1. Spot it.
The first step in changing anything is becoming aware of it. To identify negative thought patterns, spend a few days observing your thoughts, actions, and behaviors, and record the ones that are negative. It’s important to do this from a neutral perspective – meaning, a non-judgmental one – otherwise, you may end up feeling worse about your thoughts and yourself during the exercise, which isn’t what we want. If you have trouble with self-reflection or you are distracted easily, try using a piece of fluorite to organize yourself your thoughts more, or a piece of red jasper to ground and center your thoughts. Magnetite and lodestone are also excellent at amplifying certain energies and bringing them to the forefront, so those would also be helpful if you have difficulty identifying negative thoughts.
It can also be easier to record and assess this type of thing based on your moods or feelings than on your actual thoughts, since observing the 60,000+ thoughts you have on a daily basis can be a daunting task. If you decide to focus solely on recording your moods or emotions, what you’ll do is write them down as you become aware of them and then do your best to backtrack to what you were thinking about right before the mood set in. For example, if you notice that you wake up on Monday with a good attitude but, by noon, it’s gone, record it. Write down whether you feel anxious, or angry or frustrated, and then give the feeling a score of 1-10, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most intense level of that feeling. Then, consider what thoughts you had prior to the feelings that could have led to the sour mood. Did a co-worker make a comment that threw you off track or undermined you? Did you do what you consider to be a sloppy job on a project and feel embarrassed about it? Are you worried or concerned about a person in your life who is struggling?
- At the end of 2-3 days of recording, flip back and look over your notes.
- What patterns do you notice?
- Do any particular emotions, feelings or actions stand out?
2. Assess it.
Anything that you noticed more than twice in a 2-to-3-day time span deserves a second look. Chances are, you have some sort of habit ingrained there; now it’s a matter of identifying it so you can put it to a halt. Maybe you noticed that every time your spouse has to go out of town for work, you feel sad and alone. When you look deeper, you discover that you have a hidden, limiting belief that you can’t handle things when you’re alone. This belief is most likely untrue, but it doesn’t mean you haven’t been unconsciously operating under it. In order to undo it, you must first uncover it, which you have done, and then you must accept it. This is the phase of the process that can be hard because it feels like a bandaid being ripped off. You’re glad it’s gone, but what’s left can be an unsightly wound. That’s why it is paramount to practice a lot of compassion and non-judgment for yourself. You can do that by accepting whatever comes up for you during this process. Using soothing stones like rose quartz, Angelite, kunzite and snowflake obsidian will also support you in this process.
3. Take Action.
Now that you’ve observed, identified, assessed and recognized some negative thinking patterns in your life, it’s time to change them. This starts with the smallest step you can take starting today. You won’t change your thinking habits overnight, but you will change them with small steps. Some good ideas to keep in mind as you are changing are:
- Be gentle with yourself. Some of us can be our own worst enemies – myself included. The best thing you can do for yourself when learning something new, whether it’s a new way of thinking or a new sport or hobby, is to practice compassion for ourselves. We do this by dropping judgment and criticism and allowing ourselves to make mistakes as we learn. If you’re into crystals, rose quartz and blue lace agate are fantastic, nurturing stones to help in this arena.
- Persist. Don’t give up at the first sign of struggle. Just like babies, who must teach themselves to sit up and stand up before walking or running, you, too, will go through stages as your thinking patterns change and evolve. Crystals to ease with persistence include tiger iron, bloodstone, and smokey quartz.
- Have fun with it. Transformation is not easy work. Changing long-held patterns and old beliefs that are decades (and sometimes lifetimes!) in the making can be stressful, arduous, and frustrating – especially at the beginning. You may feel like a baby or toddler at times, too; particularly if you have expectations that you fail to meet immediately. Because of these things, it is VITAL to balance transformative work with lighter activities that are less serious and allow you to have fun, play, and laugh. Why? These things put you in a higher vibration, making you feel happier and lighter, and making it easier to accomplish what you want. Great crystals to help stay in a light, fun energy includes sunstone, citrine, and angel aura quartz.