Have you ever set a goal and not achieved it?
It’s not the best feeling, is it?
When you set a goal, you want nothing more than for everything to go smoothly, to do a fantastic job, and to see your hard work pay off, right?
Unfortunately, goals and projects tend to get messy when you throw in human beings, different opinions, and this thing called Life. Goals usually don’t go from point A to point B in a straight line.
In fact, I’d be so bold as to say they HARDLY EVER go that way.
Yet, for some reason, many people believe success is achieved by reaching point B as quickly as possible with as few problems as possible.
What if I told you, however, that the meaning of success I just shared is flawed.
And that only a tiny percentage of people actually achieve success in that way.
Would you think differently about success?
I was talking to a friend last week who came to me feeling disappointed, ashamed and guilty because she had resolved to work out three days a week in the New Year, and had already – in her words – “fallen flat.” Then she asked my professional opinion on how she “went wrong”.
“Describe what you mean when you said you ‘fell flat’?”, I asked.
“Well, I did great the first two weeks. I ran after work three times a week, and I felt great, But then, last week, it was like BAM! I got hit with a cold, then my kids got sick, and I just couldn’t keep up with the schedule,” she explained.
“I understand how you could feel like you fell flat. And I would never want to discount your feelings, but I don’t see that as falling flat. I see someone who gave a new goal two great weeks and then got sidelined by life,” I replied.
“Wow, really?” she said. “I just feel like such a failure. When I chose my resolution this year, I wanted it to be different, you know? I expected that I would be able to exercise three times a week. I guess I didn’t consider what I’d do if I got sick or something came up,” she said.
“Did you know that 27.4% of people who make resolutions don’t even make it through the first week?” I said.
“No … really? Wow. Well, that helps me put things into perspective a little more. Although knowing other people failed first doesn’t make me feel good for them,” she admitted.
“I know what you mean,” I said.
“But how would you feel if I told you that everyone who fails is winning anyway?” I said.
“Well, that sounds intriguing! And awesome. But I am a little skeptical. How could failing at a New Year’s resolution – or anything – actually make someone a winner?”
Plenty of ways.
So many that I did a video on some of them back in 2015 and I’m sharing five more with you today. Here they are:
Failure Bonus #1. Better odds of being the best. For starters, failure comes to those who don’t wait. In other words, people who try, fail. Considering that, let’s think about what happens to people who don’t try. Do they fail? No. But do they win? No, because it’s impossible to win if you don’t attempt it. Hmm. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have a 50% shot at something than a 0% chance.
While some people put all the glory in the winning, I prefer a different take: one where the journey and the destination are both important and applauded. Because, in truth, they are – even if society still teaches otherwise.
Failure Bonus #2. Courage. Speaking of importance, how important would you say the trait of courage is? For me, it’s right up there with integrity and honesty. If we choose not to try something new out of a fear of failure, we deny ourselves the experience of courage.
Failure Bonus #3. Resiliency. How about resiliency? How important would you rank that trait? Again, I’d place it right up there with honesty and integrity. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather my kids, partner, and myself develop the ability to withstand fallbacks or perceived losses than sit on the sidelines out of fear.
Failure Bonus #4. Compassion. And, speaking of fear, how would you rank the trait of compassion – the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and empathize with them? Some people, the Dalai Lama included, believe compassion is the highest form of human love out there. Fostering a sense of compassion is incredibly good for you; too. It raises your vibration and your mood and can even decrease blood pressure.
One of the fundamental ways to become more compassionate, whether with yourself or someone else, is to experience and learn from different things – failure included.
For example, consider this: is it easier for you to relate to something you’ve been through or something someone just explains to you?
The first, right?
That’s because you have memories and emotions attached to circumstances you experience, making it easier to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Given that research shows people like and identify more with compassionate people, this benefit serves as an extra-special bonus to both people in this type of circumstance.
Failure Bonus #5. Growth. The last positive point I want to make today about failing is that mistakes and wrong steps are the future seeds of success.
Why? Because failing allows us to hone our approaches, learning what doesn’t work and what does.
And, that, my friend, allows us to grow.
So there you have it; 5 stellar benefits of failing.
Which one did you like most? Will you use one of these the next time you fail or make a mistake? Click here and tell me – I love hearing from you!
Until next time …
Live joyfully!
Jaime