What thoughts come to your mind when you look in the mirror?
Are they loving and nurturing or harsh and critical?
If your answer is harsh and critical, you’re not alone.
I spent years berating myself for almost everything I did. I overlooked my assets and strengths and focused solely on my perceived shortcomings, which I deemed to be just about everything about me. No matter what I did, it was never good enough: I wasn’t thin enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t smart enough and I wasn’t good enough.
Sure, there were fleeting moments of happiness – a report card of all As or a special event out felt great – but once these temporary highs passed, the heavy feelings of unworthiness returned – along with the damaging self-talk.
What kinds of things did the critical voices in my head say?
“You can’t do that,”
“You’re going to wear that?!”
“Ha! You, a writer? Who would ever buy anything of yours?”
And on and on.
By what I can only call one of the greatest gifts of my life, I woke up to this critical self-talk a few years ago and, once I started observing it, was stunned by the amount of it that went on in my head. No wonder I had such a hard time trying anything new and kept myself confined to such a small, comfortable box! I had unconsciously cultivated a garden of self-hate and judgment and there was no room for growth! At that moment, I recognized the awesome opportunity this awareness had given me and I committed to making a drastic change! In the next post on this subject, I will explore some of the things that worked for shifting my negative self-talk to positive, loving, supportive thoughts!
How about you? What do the voices in your head say? I love hearing from you; please chime in!