Archive of ‘Blog’ category

Are You Restricting Your Freedoms?

Have you ever thought about what it means to be free?

To have the right to drive a car, to vote, or go into the career field of your choice?

While I love fireworks, apple pie and barbecues, my favorite part of celebrating the Fourth of July is thinking about the freedoms I have as an American. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying America is without flaws, but really – the freedoms here and in other developed countries are truly amazing.

As I was reflecting on Independence Day earlier this week, I was struck by something, though; some Americans – myself included at times – don’t take full advantage of these freedoms.

In some cases, they may even hold themselves back from being free.

Why would anyone do such a thing?

We don’t realize we’re doing it.

Reina Mae Mantanona , will you take a moment and imagine something with me?

Consider you live in a country where your freedoms are restricted.

There’s a law forbidding you to go on a vacation.

There’s a law saying you can’t move.

And there’s another law saying you can never end a relationship – even if the other person belittles you, hurts you or criticizes you.

Doesn’t sound like a great place to live, does it?

Now bring yourself back to reality, to where you really live, and consider this:

Is it illegal to take a vacation?
Are you allowed to move if you choose to?
Are you forbidden to end a relationship if you want or need to?

Most likely no.

Yet, have you ever found yourself saying:

“I can’t take a vacation now. Who will do X, Y and Z?”
or
“I couldn’t possibly move. It’s too hard/There’s nowhere to go/I can’t afford it,”
or
“I can never leave or cut ties with that person. What would my family/friends think?”

The truth is, though, if you really wanted to, could you leave? Or are you choosing to stay?

I know how hard it is to let go of certain people and things; especially the toxic variety. I know the covert abuse, confusion and entanglement that permeate these types of relationships, and I really know how hard it is to say no if you’re a giver.

But … I also know how detrimental it is to stay in unhealthy, unbalanced or toxic relationships. And I know if I do it, it is actually a choice. This is not an invitation to beat yourself up by any means – but rather an invitation to become aware of decisions you may not realize you’re making.

Moving on …

The vacation situation I mentioned above is another way people limit themselves and their freedoms.

Take me, for instance:

I used to hardly ever vacation.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have vacation days; I just believed I couldn’t take them or didn’t deserve them. I thought if I did, everything around me would fall apart or the workload would be huge when I returned, so, really, why bother? Instead, I worked long hours, took few breaks, and virtually allowed myself to get drained, drained, and more drained.

When I finally felt exhausted and resentful enough to take a vacation, it changed my life! Sure, it wasn’t easy, but boy was it worth it! I literally felt like a new person when I returned from a week away.

And you know what?

Things hummed along just fine without me!

Along with the examples above, I want to share one other way I restricted my own freedom in the past and gave my power away:

I let people bully me.

As a highly sensitive person, I used to crumble if anyone looked at me the wrong way, let alone yelled at or humiliated me.

I would isolate myself, internalize their anger and allow it to control me.

A few years ago, I reached a breaking point and finally put my foot down. I learned everything I could about narcissists and bullies and became a Certified Assertiveness Coach. During this period, I also discovered how to stop bullies from running my life – largely by learning how to take my power back.

It was an arduous path and something I still work on today, but knowing how to deflect negative energy, protect myself and clear my mind have allowed me to finally be free!

So, what do you think?
Do you relate to anything I mentioned about not living free, or giving your power away?

Click here now and tell me:
CLICK HERE

I love hearing from you!

Have a wonderful holiday weekend and a happy Saturday!

Until next time…

Brightly,
Jaime

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Using Your Powerful Memories for Your Good

Have you ever been somewhere spectacular?
I recently vacationed on Maui – and, I have to say …

It was amazing!

It was magical!

It was heavenly!

After 10 days there, I feel like a new person!

Old weights are gone, my body and soul are smiling, and I feel refreshed!

I enjoyed Maui so much that I experienced moments of not wanting to leave!
(This is a rarity for me.)

But, alas, I knew the trip was destined to end.

As our departure date rolled around, I thought about the many things I loved about this trip – the ocean breeze, the rainbows, the time with my spouse, and more.

And then I realized something: this would be my last morning of drinking espresso on the comfy furniture on the balcony. My last time looking at the lush, tropical paradise. My last time at the beach. I so loved it here, and now it was time to go.

As a twinge of bittersweet emotion enveloped me, a thought struck me:

You’ll always have the memories.

I’ll always have the memories? I thought to myself.

But what about the espresso? And the rainbows? And the ocean breeze?

You’ll have those, too. It said. In your memories.

Humph. I thought to myself. A lot of consolation that is! (Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic, but you get the picture.)

As I pondered it more and tried to detach from the negative chorus in my head, I realized something:

Having amazing memories is a consolation! It’s a huge one, in fact.

I mean, having the ability to call up spectacular moments of the past, at any time, whenever I want? That’s pretty cool if you ask me.

Sure, thinking of a place you’ve been or another happy memory isn’t exactlythe same as being there – because, well, you’re not physically there – butfortunately for us humans, it’s difficult for our brains to tell the difference.

Don’t believe me?

Give it a try right now.

Think of a time when you felt spectacular. It could be anything: a favorite vacation, spending time with a loved one or animal, or watching your favorite movie.

Got it?

Now, spend 20-30 seconds really immersing yourself in the memory.

For example, if you’re thinking about the last time you got a pedicure, think about how good and relaxing the warm water felt on your feet. Think about how wonderful and refreshed you felt while receiving the foot massage, and how much better you felt once it was over.

Take 30 seconds now, close your eyes, and run through your memory.

Welcome back.

Did you do it?
How do you feel?

Happy?

Relaxed?

Something else?

CLICK HERE NOW and tell me.

And then pat yourself on the back because you just used your mind to your benefit. You also participated in something called Mindfulness Meditation, which is consciously using your memories to change your state of being.

Admit it: it felt good, didn’t it?

Besides feeling good, mindfulness has a host of other positive benefits – everything from increasing a person’s happiness and health to improving their relationships. It’s being used in prisons now to cut down on violence and aggression, and it’s also used by Olympic athletes for training. On a practical level, it’s great for detaching from heated situations if you find yourself emotionally triggered, or to center yourself during a hectic day. It’s also a powerful Law of Attraction manifesting tool. (Mindfulness is not, however, meant to be used as a means of denial or escaping.)

I love mindfulness so much that I even created my own mindfulness meditation albums. I have one for busy moms, and another for kids with anxiety or ADHD.

The good news is, you don’t need to buy anything to practice mindfulness. You can do it all by yourself! A great way to do it is by thinking of your favorite memories.

One of my favorite memories on Maui

During this coming week, I’ll be thinking about some of my Maui experiences – especially the times I spent with my husband on the beach!

The next time you find yourself frustrated or stressed, I challenge you to take 30 seconds out of your day and replay one of your favorite memories. The simple act of doing so will shift your energy – leaving you happier, more relaxed, in a better energy.

As always, I LOVE hearing from you (it really is a highlight of my week) so please take a moment RIGHT NOW and tell me about one of your favorite memories! How does it make you feel?

CLICK HERE NOW and tell me!

Until next time, have a great week!

Brightly,
Jaime

 

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3 Simple Ways to Break Free from Toxic Energy!

Have you ever been around someone with negative energy – and then taken it on? 

If you’re highly sensitive like me, or you work in the service industry, your answer is likely yes. 
In fact, if you’re sensitive at all, or you work with people, chances are good youare soaking up energy – whether you know it or not. Signs include things like sudden irritability, feeling “drained”, exhausted, or anxious for no visible reason. I’ll go into this more in my next message, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind. 
Until a few years ago, I used to think there was something wrong with me for absorbing other people’s energy. I couldn’t understand why I felt so uncomfortable around certain people. I also wondered why I couldn’t shake certain feelings after being with particular types of people. Unfortunately, I beat myself up for my sensitivity for a long time. I’d say things like: 

Geez, Jaime! Why are you so sensitive! Why can’t you just be stronger like your sister/XYZ friend, etc.? 

Or, I’d avoid social situations all together, which isn’t surprising since they often hurt so much. 

Can you relate? 
CLICK HERE and tell me. 

Over the last few years, though, I realized something: 

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with being sensitive! 

The truth is, it’s an incredible gift! 

I also realized there was nothing wrong with me when I protected my sensitivity or myself. On the contrary: it’s actually a form of self-care and self-love. But it can be lonely at times, and it isn’t always possible or realistic. 

Thankfully, shortly after discovering these things about my sensitivity, I also learned there are actually little things I can do every day to protect myself from soaking up negativity. 

And, there are also easy tools I can use if I accidentally do soak up toxic stuff. 

 does that sound like something that would benefit you? 

If so, keep reading, because today I’m giving you three of my favorite tools. 

Here goes… 
Tool #1: Clap. No, I’m not joking. The next time you feel heavy or like someone just dumped a week’s worth of problems on you, take a few seconds to drop what you’re doing and clap. Clapping produces a vibration that breaks up negative energy and clears and breaks up turmoil in your space. 
Tool #2: Do 25 jumping jacks. This one works especially well for anger! I personally used to use it all the time. The next time you feel so mad you want to roar, bust out some jumping jacks instead. Why does it work? The physical activity raises your endorphin levels, plus you also  literally clear out the energetic space around you. In a public place? Hop in the bathroom and just jump up and down. No one will know and I guarantee you’ll have a smile on your face 😉 
Tool #3: Say Ah. Literally. If you try the others and still need more or if you’ve been around an especially negative person or environment, this one is for you! Although this one is more time-consuming than the first two – you’ll need 10-20 minutes – but it’s one of the best methods I’ve found for dramatically transforming my mind and the energetic space around me. It comes from one of my favorite teachers and mentors, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and it’s nicknamed the ‘Ah Meditation’. It is a powerful guided meditation led by Dyer himself and you can grab it for free right here. Before you begin, note that you need to find a private space for this one, because you’ll be making the ah sound during the exercise. (I find my car in the garage is a great spot when my family is home). Once you’re ready, put on your headphones, click play and do what he says. (It’s very safe – trust me.) Caution: this is one of my all-time faves, and it’s pretty powerful, so don’t be surprised if you even feel a little giddy afterward. 
Well, there you have it, 3 more of my favorite ways to bust up toxic energy! 
What do you think? Which will you try the next time you soak up negative energy? 
Click here now and tell me: 
CLICK HERE. 
Also, if you like these, make sure to check out this link for 3 more tips on releasing negativity! As always, I appreciate you reading this message and I hope you got something positive and helpful out of it! That is my goal! If you did, please don’t hesitate to let me know!  Hearing from you is always a highlight of my day! Have an awesome rest of the week!

Brightly, 
Jaime
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7 Signs of a Toxic Environment

Have you ever stayed in a toxic situation too long?

Me, too.

More than once.

In college, I stayed in a relationship with a guy who cheated on me and then lied over and over to my face.

A few years ago, I had an employee who didn’t do her work, left me in the lurch, and was dishonest about how she spent her time – yet I continued giving her “one more try”.

And, a number of years ago I continued hanging out with a group of people even though I felt tired and sad every time we met.

Reina Mae Mantanona , can you relate to any of this? Have you ever stayed in a toxic situation too long? (Click here and tell me!)

Whether it was a work situation, a toxic friendship, or an unhealthy relationship with an old flame, most people have experienced a toxic environment at one time or another. Some people, like me, have experienced them many times.

Looking back, it’s easy to get down on ourselves and say:

“Geez, why did I do that?”

or

“Why did I stay so long?”

But the truth is, when it comes to toxic environments, things are almost NEVER cut and dried. If they were, we’d know exactly when to leave.

Fortunately, recognizing an unhealthy situation isn’t impossible – if you know what to look for. In that spirit, I present to you my top tell-tale signs for recognizing when the relationship or habitat you’re in is unsafe for you:

Sign #1. You feel like something is off. In my experience, most people are much more intuitive than they give themselves credit for, especially sensitive people like you and me. If you feel like something is wrong or you’re polling your friends for their opinions, chances are you’re right.

Sign #2. You feel drained or exhausted after you spend time there. One of the first signs of toxicity is feeling like your energy is being drained or zapped. Have you ever eaten something that was expired or bad and had a bad reaction to it? The same thing happens to your energetic body when you expose yourself to toxic people or situations.

Sign #3. You stay out of fear. One of the best ways to tell if something is toxic for you is to check your motives. Are you staying because you want to or because your partner or someone else is urging you to? Do you feel like you have to stay for another reason, like finances?

Sign #4. You don’t feel valued. A key sign of a toxic situation is you feel undervalued. This could come in the form of never being asked your opinion, never being validated or being verbally dismissed. Healthy environments, on the other hand, value participants equally and aim to lift all parties up – not down.

Sign #5. You dread going there. If you’re working somewhere you dread or you’re in a relationship with someone you’re afraid of being around, it is time to do something – and fast.

Sign #6. You don’t feel good about yourself. If, every time you’re around a certain person or in a certain environment, you start feeling bad about yourself – beating yourself up or thinking you’re not good enough – take note: something isn’t right.

Sign #7. You feel like you’re going crazy. Toxic environments are notoriously confusing – and cause you to second-guess yourself. Things often start out great, and then … bam! – the red flags start popping up. Depending on the severity of the situation, the toxicity may be minimal or it may be unbearable. In my study and experience with the topic, I’ve found one thing to be true: the more toxic, the more erratic the environment. The person may be as nice as can be one day, and the next, they’re scolding or belittling me, or we may be pals one day and enemies the next.

Although examining your environments or relationships for toxicity isn’t always easy, it’s necessary to keep a vigilant eye – don’t you agree? Using the above signs will definitely give you a head-start.

How about you? Do you have any tools not listed above for sniffing out toxicity?

Click here now and tell me!

The truth is, almost ALL relationships and environments have elements of toxicity. And just because toxicity exists DOESN’T mean you have to leave.

Although some form of action is usually needed, there are numerous things you can do.

Curious what those are?

Make sure to check out my next article, where I address this head-on!

Until then, have a fantastic day!
Brightly,
Jaime
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Steal These 3 Proven Fatigue Busting Techniques

 

Have you ever woken up in the morning and felt completely exhausted??

Even after sleeping for 7-8 hours straight?

I experienced this several times last week and boy did it through me for a loop! I mean, isn’t sleeping about resting and recharging? Why did I feel so tired then?
I’m back to my old self today, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever experience fatigue again – or that you aren’t fatigued right now – and I want us both prepared!

With in mind, I’m giving you three of my top fatigue-busting remedies today.

Remember to use them the next time you find yourself exhausted. And if you have any not on this list, I’d love to hear them! Email me here.

FATIGUE BUSTER #1: Rest! If you’re feel so exhausted you can hardly move, it’s probably time for a break! If, like me, you operate at full-throttle, never taking time for breaks, your fatigue could be your body saying, “Hey! It’s time to slow down,” I know how hard it is to stop and relax, especially when your mate or boss is relying on you, plus a pile of laundry to fold. But, trust me – kicking up your heels for some uninterrupted quiet time will feel amazing and  is a common remedy for acute fatigue.
FATIGUE BUSTER #2: Move! If resting doesn’t work, try the other extreme: get moving! If you don’t exercise much or spend most of your day sitting down you may feel exhausted simply because you’re not moving. Have you ever heard of someone who was in great shape and then retired, and their health rapidly declined? The people who experience this often sit and lay around too much. No matter your age, daily physical activity is essential! I was shocked to discover that despite numerous studies proclaiming the negative effects of chronic sitting, the average office worker still sits an average of over 5 hours a day! If this describes your job, take heart: there are activities you can do to break up your sitting time 🙂
FATIGUE BUSTER #3: Hydrate! The human body is 2/3 water, which is the reason it’s so important to our health! To make this point even more, I have n analogy. Imagine two rivers, both containing a person floating in a blue inner tube. One of the rivers is robust, healthy and flowing freely, while the other has only about two inches of water and the float is barely inching along. Now imagine that river is the water in your body and the inner tube represents all the good stuff like blood, oxygen and platelets that need to reach the  different areas of your body, along with the waste that needs to exit. Which person do you think is going to feel better and less sluggish? The one whose body is properly hydrated, of course! One extra tip – bless your water before you drink it. You can even set an intention for it to be super-energizing!
Well, there you have it: 3 of my favorite fatigue-busting tools.

Which one will you use the next time you need a pick-me-up?
Click here now and tell me!

And, as a bonus, if you have any other favorite fatigue-busters, tell me those, too! I love hearing from you!

Have a great week!

XO
Jaime

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How to (Finally!) Stop Absorbing Negative Energy

Have you ever taken on someone else’s energy?

Have you ever “caught” someone’s happiness?

Or “taken on” their anger or misery?

Yeah, I thought so.
I have, too.

While it’s AWESOME when someone else’s joy rubs off on you, getting caught in the crossfire of someone else’s moodiness, complaining or negativity sure isn’t fun … don’t you agree?

That’s especially the case if you’re empathic, like me.

If you don’t know what an empathic person is, the simplest way I can describe it is that you’re like a sponge – you “soak up” everything around you. Good or bad, negative or positive. It all leaves a mark on you. And those marks can stay with you unless you know how to handle them or let them go.

Being empathic is great on many levels (you’re more conscientious and aware than the average bear) but if you don’t know how to deal with it or control it, it can make your life challenging to say the least.

I know this because I did it unknowingly for most of my life. I’m not going to delve into the traits of empathic people this week, but if this is something that interests you, stay tuned; I’m currently putting the finishing touches on an article about empathic traits and it’ll be in your inbox soon! Let’s just say there’s a good chance you’re empathic if:

You feel things on a deep and intense level;
You naturally steer clear of large crowds;
You can tell what another person is feeling without them telling you; 

Even if you’re NOT a full-fledged empathic person, though, most people have empathic traits to a varying degree; which brings me back to my message today.

Having empathic traits is AMAZING. It is a gift and a feature of highly sensitive, intuitive and emotionally intelligent and available people.

Unfortunately, like anything, it also comes with some challenges and downsides if you don’t know how to handle these traits accordingly.

The example I gave at the beginning of the article is one of the biggest ones: the tendency to absorb other people’s energy. Like I said earlier, it AWESOME when it’s something good … but not-so-good when it’s something bad.

This puts you in a conundrum, though, because you have to live your life, and everyone has bad days. And if you’re not careful, you might start isolating as a way to avoid the negativity (I’ve done this, too).
wouldn’t it be amazing if there was a way to take in the good stuff, but avoid the negative? To actually deflect it so it never bothered you?

I don’t know about you, but at one point in my life I would’ve paid a million dollars to learn how to do this! I didn’t pay quite that much, but I did learn how to do it, and my life is MUCH more peaceful as a result!
And, guess what?
Today, I’d like to share with you some of my top tools for doing just this!

The only question now is … are you ready to learn some deceptively-simple tricks for safeguarding your energy?

Awesome! Let’s jump in!

1. Under the Umbrella.  I call this first trick Under the Umbrella.
Let me ask you something: would you ever purposely go into a rainstorm without an umbrella or rain gear? Unless you wanted to get wet, my guess is no, you wouldn’t.

umbrella_house_car.jpg
Yet, so many of us walk around every day without giving a second thought to protecting our energy.Why is that?

In my opinion, it’s because we simply weren’t taught to do so.

Until now … just like you wear protective gear to shield your physical body from the elements when needed, I want to invite you to begin shielding your energetic body, too. Visualizing an umbrella over you is one of the easiest ways to do this. All you need to do is close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine an umbrella over you, protecting you and keeping negativity out of your space. You can visualize whatever you want under your umbrella: yourself, your family, your house, anything. And when you feel like you don’t need it anymore, visualize yourself closing the umbrella up and putting it away. Yes, it really is that simple. Just know that the umbrella won’t stay out forever; this is a practice you need to do every day.

2. Invest in a high-quality gemstone. My favorites for deflecting negative energy are hematite and black tourmaline.
These beautiful stones are well-known for their protective properties, plus they’re inexpensive and, they work! I can personally attest to this trick, and I’ve watched in amazement as some of the harshest environments I’ve ever experienced transformed into calm, loving places right before my eyes! I’m not saying you will experience this immediately, but with time and practice, these stones will go to work for you.You won’t need a protective stone every day, but a great time to have one is when you feel insecure or scared or if you’re going into a situation with harsh energy, such as being around someone who has a history of complaining or taking their anger out on you.

3. Stop wearing black! I know, this may be a hard one for some of you (it was for me!) but as most of us know, black ABSORBS energy – so unless you WANT to absorb the energy around you, brighten up your wardrobe with some color and give the black a break!
You don’t have to get rid of all of your black; just be conscious of when you’re wearing it and also layer in colorful accessories when you can. This trick also extends to what you eat. If you want to bolster your aura and energetic field, swap processed foods with natural, organic and colorful eats, and drink plenty of water every day!
So there you have it: 3 of my favorite, deceptively-simple tricks for deflecting negative energy.
Which one will you try today?CLICK HERE NOW and tell me!

I love hearing from you! (It’s always a highlight of my week!

And remember: if this subject interests you, stay tuned because in the next few weeks, you’ll receive a fun article from me about empathic people, their characteristics and their gifts.

And who knows? Maybe you’ll discover something about yourself you never knew, and learn some ways to make your life easier, happier and more joyful!

Until then, have a spectacular week!

Xo
Jaime
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Great news – and it’s because of you!

I couldn’t have done it without you.

Thanks for making me a 2015 Constant Contact All Star.

I wanted to share the great news and express my gratitude to you for helping me receive this honor. All of my emails and products are made with my readers and supporters in mind, so thank you for engaging and interacting with me!

As a bonus, I’m giving you this limited-time offer:

A 15-minute intuitive guidance reading* for just $40! That’s more than 25% off! Just make sure you book by May 1, 2016. What kinds of things can you find out through an intuitive guidance session? Ask me about your health, your career, your relationships or anywhere else you feel stuck.

So thanks again and I look forward to interacting with you more in 2016!

Brightly,

Jaime

*Limit one offer per person. Session by phone or email only.
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Why You Need to Stop Procrastinating

March 21, 2016

A dozen yellow tulips. Gifts in beautiful boxes. Palm trees. A Caribbean escape. A parasail ride. Renewing my vows on the beach. And a delightful massage.

These are just a handful of the things I’ve manifested since I wrote to you about vision boards last month.

b51f6a8d-0210-4ed7-b92b-b6ac39800f40-thumbnail

How about you? Have you created your vision board yet? Have you manifested amazing things? Yes?

Awesome!!!

Please tell me about it!

Oh, wait – did you say no? You haven’t done a vision board yet? And you’re still feeling stuck?

In that case … it’s time to stop procrastinating!

Don’t worry; you’re not in trouble and you’re certainly not alone. As powerful as vision boards are – just ask people like Oprah, Jim Carrey and Will Smith, who credit them as integral to their success – they aren’t something people tend to make a priority (at least in my experience).

The thing is, though, that’s really too bad … because vision boards are one of the easiest, fastest, and most FUN ways of bringing your dreams into reality!

The process is almost too simple – which is probably why most people don’t spend time on vision boards; they just seem too good to be true. That, and most people have a limiting belief that only “hard” work is rewarded. Thankfully, that hasn’t been the case for me. In fact, the more time I spend on pro-active, fun, light activities like vision boarding and the less I spend on grueling, meaningless tasks that suck my energy dry, the more money I make!

Don’t just take my word for it, though … give it a try yourself!

All you need are a few inexpensive supplies and 20-30 minutes of time. Need a little more help? Check out the vision boarding posts I did last month. Then, once your board is done, make sure to snap a picture and send it to me! I’d love to hear about your dreams!

Does finding 20-30 minutes sound impossible? I’ve been there before – and guess what? You’re in luck! In my next post, I’ll give you examples of snack-size vision boards and tricks that only take a few minutes to set up!

I’ll talk to you soon!

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Nine Ways to Feel AMAZING in just 15 minutes a day

March 7, 2016

I have a confession to make:

Things have been really good lately.

Great, actually.

Two weeks ago, I went on a fabulous trip to the Dominican Republic where I held my first-ever business retreat, soaked up the sun, and renewed my vows with my husband, Gideon.

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 11.48.50 AM

Renewing my vows in the Dominican Republic

It was absolutely spectacular and one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. And, although I was technically “working” while I was there, it was hardly the type of thing most people consider as work.

The agenda?

Journaling. Meditation. Practicing gratitude. Unplugging. Renewing the mind, body and soul. I had some major revelations while I was there, and truly feel rejuvenated and refreshed.

There’s no doubt it’s directly related to the great mood I’ve been experiencing.

How about you? Have you taken some time to renew, refresh or rejuvenate lately?

Although it can sometimes be difficult to take time out and do something for yourself, it ALWAYS pays off.

Why?

Because when you care for yourself, EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in your life benefits!

Don’t believe me?

Think about the last time you got a massage, played a game for fun or did something else you enjoy.

How did you feel?

My guess is relaxed, happier and at ease. Did you go home and snap at your kids or your mate? Probably not, because you were “filled up” and feeling good – and it’s always easier to deal with life’s frustrations when you feel good.

Now compare that to when you feel frustrated, tired or run down … you lose your temper easier and probably more frequently, right?

Which is why it pays to do things for yourself.

I understand we can’t all go on vacation at the drop of a hat. But, everyone can find at least 15 minutes a day to nurture themselves.

It may not seem like a lot – and I encourage you to take much more – but even 15 minutes a day can have a profound impact on your well being. Especially if you try one of these uniquely powerful self-love activities:

1. Give yourself at least one compliment every day. We know from research that expressing kindness benefits the giver and the receiver; in the case of giving yourself compliments, you are the giver and the receiver so the impact goes even further. This is an excellent activity for women who may deflect compliments more than men and are less likely to focus on their strengths than men. Examples of strengths include: “I am generous” or “I am a fabulous ice skater” or “I am a fantastic listener”.

2. Write yourself a love letter. Are you the person who always remembers everyone’s birthday or anniversary, or gives people cards simply because they are awesome? It’s time to douse yourself with the same treatment! Write yourself a letter or grab your favorite greeting card and express to yourself how wonderful you are! You might feel silly doing this at first and that’s okay. The relationship you have with yourself is directly related to the relationship you have with everyone else in your life. When you pamper and indulge yourself, others will do this for you too.

3. Shower yourself with loving visual cues. Write, “I love you, (name)!” on sticky notes and put them on your mirror, bedside table, computer screen, in your car and as your phone screensaver. You’ll appreciate the nice, loving surprise for days to come.

4. Commit to five minutes of daily journaling every day. Journaling is scientifically proven to decrease stress and increase clarity and creativity. To start, observe your thoughts without judgment and just write. It’s amazing what an effect five minutes has in shrinking worries and fears down to size!

5. Make “happiness appointments” with yourself and always follow through. How? Create a joy list, containing 5-15 items that bring you joy. These can be anything from smelling flowers to taking a walk to spending time with a person you love. Pick one item from your joy list every day and make an “appointment with joy”. Schedule it in your phone and set a reminder. Then, follow through! Within a week, the increased happiness in your life will be evident.

6. Unplug. Commit to unplug from electronic devices once a day and just “be”. Check in with your breathing and your body. You are not a machine, and you need breaks! Your mind and body will thank you!

7. Make a list of your top 10 strengths. This is an assignment I give my students and they rave about how good it feels. Set aside ten minutes today and write down 10 of your best qualities. Then, read it out loud to yourself.

8. Leave toxic situations. Although this one is a little different from the others, it is incredibly powerful. The people you hang around with impact you a great deal and if someone isn’t treating you well and you’re sticking around for it, you’re essentially telling The Universe, “This is okay with me. Bring me more of this.” The truth is, though, you are awesome, and you never need to settle!

9. Instead of looking at the things you’ve done wrong today or didn’t do, look at what you did right instead. For example, instead of beating yourself up for getting to the gym later than you planned, applaud yourself for making it there at all!

Have you tried one of my favorite self love activities?

If not, which one will you commit to do today? Let me know!

I’ll talk to you in a few weeks!

Xo
Jaime

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Why You Feel Unloved (And What to Do About It)!

February 14, 2016

Do you like Valentine’s Day?

Do you love Valentine’s Day?

Up until about five years ago, I abhorred Valentine’s Day. Although I had a few good Valentines Days early in life (thanks, Mom!), most of them went like this:

I wasn’t in a relationship and felt unlovable because of that.

Or, I was in a relationship, but the person I was with was so unavailable it was literally killing me. felt like I was single anyway.

Either way, what was supposed to be the ultimate day of love served as a horrible, in-your-face reminder of how incredibly lonely, unacknowledged and unloved I often felt.

Can you relate? (Click here now and tell me).

I don’t know about you, but feeling unloved, neglected and worthless isn’t fun.

Thankfully, I rarely feel this way anymore. If I do, red lights, sirens and the words, “Get Out Now”, start flashing in my head.

So what then is Valentine’s Day like for me now?

Incredible.

Amazing.

SPECTACULAR.

Exactly like it should be.

Consider today, for instance: I woke up and came downstairs and there were not one, but THREE bouquets of gorgeous red roses waiting for me, along with an enormous red gift box and a beautiful card. I was so shocked I actually gasped out loud (my husband told me later it was his favorite part of the day.) After I gasped, I smiled for about 5 minutes straight 🙂 I was then treated to a vegetarian omelet (my favorite) for breakfast and king crab, grilled asparagus and several other treats throughout the day. The thing is, though, this is not unusual for my life. My husband treated me to 3 dozen roses about a month ago, and makes us crab or lobster at least once a week. He also makes me omelets several times a week.

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Am I spoiled?

Perhaps, but not for the reasons you may think.

Sure, I am extremely blessed with an amazing guy and I would never take that away from him. But please understand: we’ve been together for 13 years and he has not done this throughout the entire marriage. I have not always been overflowing with love on Valentine’s Day, either, or on so many other days out of the year.

What changed then? you may ask.

Me.

Yes, me. And yes, I am actually taking the credit for the abundance I now have in my life.

Who does she think she is? you may think.

Stick with me for a minute and let me explain.

Remember when I spoke about all those February 14 holidays when I felt lonely, unloved and unacknowledged? Although I didn’t realize it until a few years ago, the Universe is and was always mirroring back to me the way I was treating myself. For example, all those years when I ran around town tracking down the perfect gift for other people but left myself out of the mix, I felt unacknowledged and sad. The crazy thing was, I had no idea why I felt so bad.

I was a good person, wasn’t I?

Why couldn’t certain people reciprocate my love?

Why did I feel so unlovable?

And then one day, like a bolt of lightning from the sky, it hit me:

My experiences were largely reflecting back to me the way I treated myself.

All of those times I cleaned someone else’s things up but neglected my own? That was the reason I felt alone.

When I worked for hours on a project for someone else and it was hardly acknowledged? It often occurred because I wasn’t giving enough to myself.

When I experienced someone saying something mean or judgmental to me? I could usually trace it back to the critical voice in my head.

Now don’t get me wrong; this is not to say that every single thought you have or every action you take is matched immediately. But – based on my experiences – the Universe reciprocates the majority of your actions.

Take the flower example above. About a year ago, I started buying flowers for myself every week or any time I needed a boost or felt down. I did this without telling anyone, including my husband, so you can imagine my surprise when … he “randomly” began showing up at home with flowers for me “just because” – on the very same day! This has literally happened dozens of times.

Another example of this type of radical self love in action:

There was a time where I felt largely unnoticed in my friendships and like I didn’t have many true friends. I desperately wanted more and did the normal things like reaching out to people, smiling and making small talk, but I usually attracted people who were kind of self-centered … and I couldn’t figure out why. After experiencing this over and over, I finally put my foot down and decided to try something new:

I chose to be my own best friend.

I treated myself like ABSOLUTE GOLD – I bought myself cards and flowers, took myself out to dinner, to the spa, bought myself new clothes, started doing mirrorwork every day, and, anytime I felt down, I took even better care of myself. I wrote myself letters and notes with things I imagined the best ‘best friend’ out there would write or say.

Do you know what happened?

Amazing, supportive, loving people started coming out of the woodwork! For the first time in my life, giving people were attracted to me and my relationships were healthier, balanced and fulfilling.

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Here is an example of one of the ways I love myself: I send myself text messages every day.

Just like I explained with the vision board example a few weeks ago, this is not something exclusive to me; you can do it, too! Interested? Great! It starts by committing to step up the way you treat yourself. Here are a variety of ways to do just that. Then, pick one of them to do THIS WEEK.

Ready?

Here are some common ways to love yourself:

Get your nails done
Get a soothing pedicure
Exercise or join a gym
Go to a chiropractor
Express yourself creativity (this only counts if it’s not for someone else)
Buying yourself some new clothes
Splurge on a new pair of socks, sunglasses or purse
Take a salt bath
Delegate something!
Beautify your living space
Clear your clutter
Use your fine china on a regular day
Order takeout from a fancy restaurant
Create space for yourself in your home that is just yours
Use aromatherapy
Take a vacation!
Buy yourself flowers
Buy yourself a card
Mail the card to yourself! (I do this all the time and it’s awesome!)
Congratulate yourself
Take yourself to dinner
Treat yourself like you would your very best friend
Stop doing things you dislike
Speak up if you feel strongly about something that affects you
Practice voicing your opinions
Leave a toxic relationship
Make a dream or vision board
Do mirrorwork (say “I love you” five times in the mirror today)

Got your choice?
Tell me which one you like best!

And make sure to check out my next article where I give you 8 of my most unique and powerful self love activities!

Have an incredibly awesome and happy Valentine’s Day and a wonderful week ahead!

And, if you’re looking for even more guidance on self love, email me about my 14 Day Radical Self Love Challenge. It’s an inexpensive, easy, AWESOME self-paced video series that will help you open the floodgates of love in your life! Plus, it’s received rave reviews!

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